Ellie Loo

Artist Statement

I use my practice to discuss the difficult history I have lived and to express the emotions I still struggle with. My work is a direct representation of my own narrative. I combine text and imagery to address themes such as: familial issues, trauma, identity, mental health, grieving, self-expression, acknowledgment of the past, and forgiveness. My practice works as a healing process. I use it to work through the questions I still grapple with. By telling my own truth, I am able to control what remains private and what is shared. I give myself strength by owning what I had been through while setting these kinds of boundaries in my practice. Sharing the histories that have been engraved in my mind, body, and memory allows me to be open about my past and what I have done to move past those hardships. My work also functions as an amended archive that reflects my truth. This can take form in handwritten letters, photos that have been manipulated digitally or by hand, or objects that I have collected that speak on their own. In many photos I have been experimenting in the way scratching or erasing someone from a photo speaks to the erasure of the individual from their own history or life all together. To create despite tradition, expectations, and other limitations is an important aspect of my process. I was raised in a social context where discussing the family dynamic you had was frowned upon and often children were blamed for the issues that were reported. Emotions are also something that goes undiscussed and ignored, leading to issues of mental illness, abuse, and the side effects of dealing with each. I was also raised in a lower middle-class family which encouraged me to source materials that are at hand and accessible. I choose to prioritize my thought process and feelings over the expectations of what others are expecting or wanting. I depict conversations I have with different versions of myself from the past and with those who have been in, and are still in, my life. It can be difficult to remember one’s own strength and it is easy to forget you aren’t alone while going through it. That is what drives my practice the most. I hope to help inspire others who struggled growing up and are looking for a way to work through the repercussions of their past unapologetically.